Beware of High Hopes for Your Children

by Kathy Collard Miller

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55: 8-9 NIV

Imagine for a moment your two sons are disciples of Jesus. What an honor, for certainly they are followers of the future king of Israel, who will overthrow the Roman tyranny. And what does a king need? Advisors sitting beside him … well … advising him. Wouldn’t any mother think My sons can do that. They’re brilliant.

Yes, we’re using our imagination. And in our imagination, wouldn’t it be possible (as our sons sit on the platform near the king, and we stand on the sidelines of the great hall), we would whisper to the woman next to us, “See those two right there near the king? They are my sons.”

This fictional example is based on the story of Salome, the mother of the sons of Zebedee, James and John. By connecting Matthew 27: 55-56 and Mark 15: 40, we know she is the one referred to in Matthew 20: 20-24. Let’s read the Matthew account.

“Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came up to him with her sons, and kneeling before him she asked him for something. And he said to her, “What do you want?” She said to him, “Say that these two sons of mine are to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your kingdom.” Jesus answered, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am to drink?” They said to him, “We are able.” He said to them, “You will drink my cup, but to sit at my right hand and at my left is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.” And when the ten heard it, they were indignant at the two brothers” (Matthew 20: 20-24 ESV).

Of course, we don’t know Salome’s thoughts, but from the biblical story, it would seem she had high hopes for them. Who could fault Salome’s motives in wanting the best for her precious boys?

Yet Salome’s heart may have impure motives. At least, she has faith to believe Jesus will be king. We don’t know if she envisions an earthly or a heavenly kingdom with Jesus as king. Regardless, she is asking for something seemingly right, yet she doesn’t recognize her heart is muddied by the idea of her sons’ future status and success.

Little does she know what she is asking, as Jesus points out. And little did she anticipate the indignation of the other ten disciples. She most likely hadn’t expected that. Unfortunately, our mixed motives often block out thinking of the potential consequences of our choices.

Thankfully, we know Salome stayed faithful to Jesus and was one of the three women standing together at the cross of Jesus (Matthew 27: 55-56 and Mark 15: 40-41). Even if her hopes of her sons’ status died there, we also know from Mark 16:1-8 Salome was one of three women who went to the tomb to anoint Jesus’ body with spices. She saw the angel and the empty tomb. How her heart must have leaped with joy. I doubt by then she was thinking of her sons’ status. I’d like to think she could only think of Jesus being glorified.

That’s the challenge for each one of us. To allow the loving Father to bring glory to himself through purifying our hearts. One important way to do that is to realize what we think is best is based on our limited perspective. God knows everything about us and the future. Let’s surrender to His superior plan.

When did you realize God’s plan was better than what you had envisioned?

Kathy Collard Miller is the best-selling, award-winning author of over 60 books and a national and international speaker. She loves to take scriptural truths and apply them to the stories of her walk with God through devotional books, Christian Living books, commentaries and a women’s Bible studies series. In her book, Pure-Hearted: The Blessings of Living Out God’s Glory, she passionately explores the connection between desiring a pure heart and God being glorified. Connect with her at: www.KathyCollardMiller.com.

Join the conversation: When did you realize God’s plan was better than what you had envisioned?