Optimist, Pessimist, or Realist

by Karin Beery

My husband is an optimist—he prepares for and assumes the best-case scenario in all situations. If we need to drive thirty minutes to a friend’s house and are expected to bring a dessert that takes thirty minutes to prepare, he’ll start getting ready an hour before we need to leave.

While I appreciate that he always looks for and finds the best in people and circumstances, I’m not willing to concede that my own approach is pessimistic. Just because I look for and prepare for potential difficult outcomes doesn’t mean I expect them or hope for them. It’s the opposite, actually. I don’t want anything bad to happen, but I realize that life happens—we might not have all the ingredients we need for the dessert or there might be road construction that delays our departure.

That’s why I don’t believe people should be labeled either optimists or pessimists—I like to make room for realists too. Realists don’t sugar-coat life to pretend like the bitter and sour parts don’t happen, but they also don’t sit back and complain about the unappetizing parts. The realist has a glass of water on hand, just in case they need to swish away the bad taste of life.

When I was a young Christian, many well-meaning people tried to help me develop what they considered a more optimistic point of view. They often quoted verses from Psalms, like 34:18 (NIV), “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” or 100:4-5, “Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His Name.For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations” (NIV).

But instead of being encouraging, those words often frustrated me. What about life? What about the hard times and bad things and inconveniences you can’t avoid? I wasn’t trying to be a pessimist, but the Psalms didn’t seem practical. Because they aren’t when they’re read in pieces.

I don’t remember when or why I decided to read Psalm 13, but one day I opened my Bible to that short chapter and the first few verses shocked me:

“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall” (vv. 1-4 NIV).

The earlier verses I’d read from the Psalms were so optimistic that it never occurred to me that the author saw anything other than the sunny side of every situation. It never occurred to me that life happened to him, too. It not only happened to him, he wrote about it! He acknowledged the struggles and hardships.

So why didn’t anyone accuse him of being a pessimist?

Because he didn’t stay in the hardships. Though Psalm 13 starts with acknowledging the struggles, it ends with: “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me” (vv. 5-6 NIV).

The psalmist didn’t ignore his suffering, but he didn’t stay focused on it either. So maybe the options aren’t only optimist, pessimist, or realist. Maybe we can be optimists, pessimists, or psalmists.

This article is brought to you by the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association (AWSA).

About the author: Author of hopeful fiction with a healthy dose of romance, Karin Beery also owns Write Now Editing, helping authors turn good manuscripts into great books.  She lives in northern Michigan with her husband and pets. When she’s not writing, editing, or teaching, she and her husband drink too much (decaf) coffee, put up their Christmas tree the first weekend in November, and do their best to live every day for the Lord.

Join the Conversation: Are you an optimist? Or a pessimist?

Lasting Fruit

by Pam Farrel

I had two new books published over the past year. When you release a new book, your publisher wants you to send a complimentary copies of the book to the women of influence who believe in you and in the ministry God has given to you.

Doing these mailings always takes me down memory lane, remembering the many amazing mentors God has given me. So many have poured wisdom, truth, strength, and common sense into me, and built up and blessed me. I would not be who I am had God not brought each of them across my path at just the right moment.

All I had to do was keep my heart hungry receptive to all He meant for me to learn.  A few of the Psalms in my new Bible study further define the kind of heart God values.

God is looking for thirsty hearts.

As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God.  Psalm 42:1-2 ESV

This word picture is of a deer searching, longing, desperate for living water to quench her driving thirst. Jesus spoke of this quality in His Sermon on the Mount: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.” (Matt. 5:6 ESV). Being mentored necessitates cultivating a receptiveness to the wisdom of others.

God is looking for contrite hearts.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. Psalm 51:17 ESV

Broken in this verse means to “be shattered into tiny pieces”; contrite is “to be crushed.” Tiny pieces of stained glass in the hands of an artist can become a magnificent work of art, more beautiful and even more valuable after being broken. In the same way, many of my mentors have been used by God as artisans, helping me put my broken life back together.

God is looking for grateful hearts

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.  Psalm 100:4- 5 NIV

People with grateful hearts seek out others who want to thank and praise God for His goodness.  I have learned how important it is to appreciate every moment of time someone has spent on me in helping me to know God better.

So, this fall, I looked for opportunities to go in person to thank many of my mentors:

• Tina, the Campus Crusade staffer, who mentored me in the basics of the Christian walk
• Nora, who mentored me in my role as a mother
• Bev, who mentored me in my role as a Pastor’s wife
• Pat, my mentor in my role as a Women’s Director
• Jill, my mentor in my speaking ministry.

There are many more, and in the coming months, I plan to go and give each a copy of my book to express my gratitude for each minute they spent pouring wisdom into me. The seeds these faithful women planted over the years have produced lasting fruit around the world. I’m confident that one day in eternity, they will all meet women who began a relationship with God and grew into reproducing leaders as well—all because they once cared and shared as mentors.

When we are open to serving God in that way, desiring a chance to pour into the lives of others, God will be faithful to reveal those who are thirsty, contrite, and grateful, waiting with ready hearts to hear what He has to say though His obedient servants.

About the author: Pam Farrel is an international speaker,  Co-Director (with her husband, Bill Farrel) of  Love-Wise, and the author of  45 books including bestselling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti . Her newest release, co-authored with Jean E Jones and Karla Dornacher, is Discovering Hope in the Psalms.

Join the conversation: Have you been on the receiving end of mentoring? Or have you mentored others? Please share something you gained from that relationship.

Photo by Neven Krcmarek on Unsplash