by Julie Zine Coleman
Never repay evil for evil to anyone…If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people. Romans 12:17-18 NASB
You can insult me all you want. But don’t you dare mess with my husband.
Steve is an awesome guy, completely dedicated to the Lord, humble, and wise. So, when someone in our church started spreading lies about him, I was outraged. I laid awake at night trying to find a way to deal with the situation.
I’ll be honest: retribution was at the top on my list. But as much as I would have loved to take that man down, I knew better. In Ephesians 5:18, Paul urges us to be filled with (live under the influence of) the Spirit. And one of the fruits of the Spirit’s influence is patience.
In Genesis, Joseph suffered hurt and betrayal—at the hands of his own family. His brothers plotted his murder and ultimately sold him into slavery. He endured thirteen years of bondage in a foreign land. Finally, God provided a way out. And when Joseph eventually met up with his brothers again, he was second in command of the Egyptian Empire. Payback time.
Joseph was in an excellent position to administer judgment on his brothers. No one would have blamed him, not even the brothers themselves, who had lived with terrible guilt all those years. But Joseph never did execute justice, never sought retribution, and never even demanded an apology.
The brothers assumed Joseph’s kindness was in deference to their father, who was still alive. So, when their father finally died, they knew the jig was up. They assumed that Joseph would finally give them what they deserved.
But Joseph surprised them all, saying, “Do not be afraid, for am I in God’s place? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones” (Genesis 50:19-21 NASB). His words are then characterized in verse 21 as comforting and kind.
Whoa. He comforted them? He clearly understood how malicious their intentions had been those many years ago. So how could Joseph choose to overlook such grievous sin? Had the years softened the pain of their betrayal? Not according to Genesis, which notes several times when Joseph could not contain his emotions while speaking with his brothers. Every recollection was a fresh wound to his heart.
We’ve all been there in some regard. Someone has hurt or offended us. We try to forgive, try to move on. But the pain they inflicted continues to haunt us. Is God calling us to do the impossible?
A clue to Joseph’s success can be found his words in Genesis 45:8, “It was not you who sent me here, but God” (NASB). In short, Joseph trusted in the goodness and the power of His God.
“Vengeance is mine,” the Lord says (Romans 12:19 NASB). Only God is qualified to sit in that seat. We are as guilty as the next, limited in our capacity to understand the whole truth, possessing a tainted perspective at best. In light of our shortcomings, we need to leave the judging to the One who will administer justice with mercy.
How then must we respond to those who try our souls? We need to see them as God sees us: flawed and in need of mercy. In view of the mercy we have received, we must in turn offer mercy to them.
Our obedience will reflect the One who lives within us and will result in our resembling Him just a bit more—the ultimately patient Jesus Christ.
This article is brought to you by the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association (AWSA).

About the author: Julie Zine Coleman helps others to understand and know an unexpected God. A popular conference and retreat speaker, she holds an M.A. in biblical studies. Julie is the managing editor for Arise Daily. When she is not glaring at her computer, she spends time with her grandchildren, gardening, or crafting. More on Julie can be found at her new website JulieZineColeman.com and Facebook.

Many Christian women are torn between the church’s traditional teachings on gender roles and the liberty they experience in secular society. But what if the church’s conventional interpretations aren’t really biblical at all? Julie’s new book, On Purpose, is a careful study of the passages in the Bible often interpreted to limit women in the church, at home, or in the workplace. Each chapter reveals timeless biblical principles that actually teach freedom, not limitation. On Purpose was recently named the Golden Scrolls 2022 Book of the Year.
Join the conversation: Have you been patient in the face of insult recently? What happened?