by Cheri Cowell
If you are in a small group, a ministry or charitable group, even a neighborhood group, you’ve encountered a crazy. I’m not using that term to disparage the mentally ill. Rather, I’m talking about the people that like to stir the pot and keep things unbalanced. You know them as the people who start rumors, who deftly undermine things others are working to achieve. The church has always had these people, and Scripture calls them wolves in sheep’s clothing.
“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves” (Matthew 7:15 NIV).
Sadly, the world we live in today allows them to increasingly operate with impunity. So what are we to do? Here are a few steps you can take to protect yourself, your church, and your groups.
1. Acknowledge that evil exists. Not that these people are evil, but the enemy will use whatever and whomever to discourage, disparage, and sometimes destroy you, the church, and those who are doing good things.
2. Develop healthy relationships within your small groups. Strong relationships with good, spiritually strong people is the best antidote to the crazies in your midst. Have a no gossip rule. Set boundaries and never use prayer as a guise for gossip.
3. Know when to refer. It is not always the case, but there are times when the person you are having trouble with needs help. Having a good counselor for you to talk to, and someone you can refer to is a big help in some situations.
4. Learn to identify your own triggers. Does it seem you are surrounded by crazies? There are many good books on this subject (a few favorites are listed below) to help you identify the problem and help you examine how you may be inviting attack without even knowing it.
We don’t openly talk about it in the church, but perhaps that is part of the problem. When brought out into the open, this growing issue can no longer operate in the dark.
“. . . to open their eyes so that they may turn from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who have been sanctified by faith in Me” (Acts 26:18 NASB).
In the light, it can be seen for what it is. People can get the help they need, and healthy communication skills can be developed. In your prayer time today, ask God to reveal to you the unhealthy relationships in your life. Then ask the Lord to show you which of these steps you should take. For all of us can be easily led astray and, therefore, we must guard our hearts and minds always.
Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. Hebrews 3:12-13 ESV
Lord, give us courage to stand strong for You, to live in harmony with others, and to bring to light the darkness that seeks to enter.
Here are a few books to help you explore the issue:
- The Wounded Minister by Guy Greenfield, ph. D.
- Clergy Killers by G. Lloyd Rediger
- Antagonists in the Church by Kenneth Haugk
- Surviving Friendly Fire by Ronald Dunn
- Pastor Abusers: When Sheep Attack Their Shepherd by Kent Crocket
- When Sheep Attack by Dennis Maynard
- Well-Intentioned Dragons by Marshall Shelley
This article is brought to you by the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association (AWSA).
About the author: Cheri Cowell is a graduate of Asbury Theological Seminary and her, Direction: Discernment for the Decisions of Your Life, recounts her church wounding story and the lessons she learned. To learn more about Cheri and her other books visit her website http://www.CheriCowell.com
Join the conversation: Have you struggled with a “crazy”? What did you find to be helpful in that relationship?
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