Not What it Seems

by Crystal Bowman

My friend’s mom died when her children were young, and they had few relatives in the area. I became a surrogate aunt, and her son and daughter called me Aunt Crys. Every so often, I would go on a date with one of her kids to give my friend a break. Her son, Noah, who was nine at the time, loved to go miniature golfing, so one day I took him to the local course.

After our round of mini golf, we stopped at his favorite burger place for lunch. We ordered our food from the cafeteria-type counter, and I brought our tray to a booth. While I was setting our food on the table, Noah went to the beverage station to get a cup of decaffeinated coffee. A man walked by my table and said, “Isn’t he a little young for coffee, Mom?” 

I bit my tongue and pursed my lips to avoid letting angry words project from my mouth. Since Noah would have heard my reply, I kept silent. But in my head, I said, “Excuse me Mr. Judgmental-Know-It-All, first of all, I am NOT his mom. Secondly, I am spending time with him to give his mom a much-needed break. And if you must know, Mr. Nosey, his doctor suggested he drink a cup of decaf coffee once a day to neutralize the bitter taste he gets from his anti-rejection medicine that he will take every day for the rest of his life due to his kidney transplant two years ago. So, mind your own business when you don’t know the facts!”

Since that day, I often give myself that same advice—to mind my own business when I don’t know the facts, because things are not always what they seem to be. It is so easy to pass judgment when something we see doesn’t seem right, thinking we know better. However, it is not our place to question, comment, or give unsolicited advice, especially when we don’t know everything about a situation.

In John 9 we read the story of a man who was born blind. As Jesus and His disciples walked past the blind man, the disciples asked Jesus, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

Jesus replied, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned. But this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. While I am in the world, I am the light of the world” (John 9:2-4 CSB).

After saying this, Jesus spit on the ground to make some mud, then He spread it on the man’s eyes. He told the man to wash in the Pool of Siloam. The man did as Jesus said and went home seeing. The disciples had jumped to a wrong conclusion based on what they saw, rather than learn the truth about the matter—that Jesus would use this man’s blindness to show His healing power. The man’s blindness had nothing to do with sin.

I need to remind myself daily to avoid jumping to conclusions based only on what I see. Maybe there’s a good reason that five-year-old girl is sucking on a pacifier in the grocery store. Maybe there’s a good reason your neighbor keeps her shades down until noon. Maybe the couple in your church who come late and leave early have something serious going on at home.

We need to support each other with compassion and understanding, rather than hold judgmental, know-it-all attitudes. Many people struggle just to get through the day. Their problems are real, and they may be hurting inside. Rather than being quick to judge, we need to be kind and loving to one another. Isn’t that what Jesus would do?

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:2-3 NIV).

This article is brought to you by the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association (AWSA).

About the author: Crystal Bowman is a bestselling, award-winning author of more than 100 books including, Our Daily Bread for Kids. She and her husband have three married children and seven huggable grandchildren.

When a child’s grandparent or great-grandparent is afflicted with dementia, it’s difficult to explain the disease in a way that helps the child understand why the person they love is not the same. I Love You to the Stars–When Grandma Forgets, Love Remembers, is a picture book inspired by a true story to help young children understand that even though Grandma is acting differently, she still loves them–to the stars!

Join the Conversation. Do you tend to jump to conclusions about people?

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Kaleidoscope of Kindness

  by Fran Sandin

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Colossians 3:12 ESV

After Dad passed away, I took Mother to a women’s fall conference in Waco, Texas. We didn’t know any of the participants, but we all had name tags. During a break, I witnessed Mother expressing kindness.

While a young woman stood washing her hands in the restroom, my mother noticed tears running down her cheeks. As the stranger (named Kim) turned to grab a paper towel from the dispenser, Mother approached her, put a hand on her shoulder and said, “Honey, I’m so sorry—is there anything I can do to help?”

At first, Kim was startled that anyone saw her distress, but when Mother’s gentle touch reached her, she burst into tears. They gravitated toward a quiet corner where Kim poured out her heart. Mother nodded and listened intently. After a few minutes with more tears and explanations, Kim wiped her eyes, regained her composure, took a deep breath, and said, “Oh, thank you!! Thank you! I feel so much better now.” The two of them hugged and went their separate ways.

As Mother and I walked to the meeting room, she told me, “Kim was so upset, and I don’t know what was wrong. I couldn’t hear anything she said!” I smiled and thought, Mother could have ignored the young woman. Instead, she displayed the compassion, unconditional love, and gentleness that was so characteristic of her life. Kim needed kindness that day, and she had no idea Mother was hard of hearing.

Mother always kept our small, modest home neat and clean. I watched as she hand-polished copper-bottomed pots and pans. Lacking storage space, she hung the shiny utensils—with magazine photo perfection—on wall hooks above the stove. Treasuring those items displayed respect to my dad, who worked so hard to buy them, and taught me the importance of kindness in doing small tasks well.

Like a kaleidoscope that creates beautiful scenes when colorful glass chips occupy various positions, the word kindness includes many synonyms: compassion, consideration, generosity, sympathy, understanding, friendliness, mercy, forgiveness, gentleness, humility, and patience.

I have sometimes blurted out unkind words because I failed to stop, think, pray, and recall what the Lord has taught me in His Word.

• She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. –Proverbs 31:26 ESV
• Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. –Ephesians 4:32 NIV
• If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless. –James 1:26 ESV
• There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. –Proverbs 12:18 NASB

Our culture today challenges us with expressions that are often cold, mean, cruel, and sometimes brutal. How can we show the world that we are “in Christ”? One way is by being kind, speaking truthfully, while remembering we are Christ’s ambassadors on earth.

Acts of kindness and words of kindness are the golden threads that bind us together.

This article is brought to you by the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association (AWSA).

About the author: Fran Sandin is a retired nurse, organist, mother, and grandmother living in Greenville, Texas. She and her husband, Jim, have traveled to many countries and states. Her latest book, Hope on the Way, Devotions to Go– contains 52 devotionals for those who love to combine faith and adventure. Visit her website to order with a click on the home page fransandin.com. Hope on the Way has been nominated by Joy and Company in Arlington, Texas, for the Henri Award (for outstanding Christian Literature) both in the Devotional and Christian Living sections.

Join the conversation: What recent opportunities have you had to show kindness?

Cornbread and Faith

by Crystal Bowman

For more than a decade I was a mentor for MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). I loved meeting with moms who were facing the challenging role of motherhood. I tried to encourage them with words of advice, affirmation, and some much-needed hugs.

Those young moms arrived sleep deprived and hungry for both food and fellowship. Our gourmet breakfast spread with egg souffles, French toast casseroles, yogurt parfaits, and cranberry muffins was the best way to kick off each meeting. The moms took turns bringing the food; and as a mentor, I would often get a last-minute phone call to please bring a dish since one of the moms (or her child) was sick. I kept a stash of mixes in my pantry just for that reason.

One morning, I received the 911 call that more food was needed for the breakfast table, so I opened my box of cornbread mix and added the milk, oil, and eggs. In a few minutes the cornbread was in the oven and soon the sweet aroma engulfed my kitchen. The moms will love this, I thought as I pulled the Pyrex dish from the oven and headed out the door.

I placed the 9×13 glass dish on the buffet table and set a table knife beside it. If my cornbread could talk, it would have said, “Help yourself.” But here’s the thing—almost nobody did. I went home later with nearly a full dish.

A few months later I received the call once again. My pantry stash was running low, and the only thing I could whip up in a hurry was another dish of cornbread. This time, however, I tried something different. Rather than placing the Pyrex dish on the table with uncut cornbread, I cut the cornbread into squares and neatly arranged them on a silver platter lined with a paper doily. I placed a small card next to the platter that read, “Mama’s Southern Cornbread.”

I went home with an empty platter!

The cornbread was exactly the same, but the presentation made all the difference. And that got me thinking about my life and how I live out my faith.

The Apostle Paul instructed the early Christians to imitate Jesus. Crowds had followed Jesus because they were drawn to Him and the way He treated everyone, even sinners, with love and compassion. He reminded those in Ephesus, “You are the children that God dearly loves. So follow his example. Lead a life of love, just as Christ did. He loved us. He gave himself up for us. He was a sweet-smelling offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5:1-2 NIRV).

If non-believers see our lives as dull, unfriendly, or uninviting, why would they want to know more about our faith? But if we follow Jesus’ example of loving others with kindness, gentleness, and authenticity, others may be drawn to us and interested in learning more about our faith in Him.     

Living and loving as Jesus did is not something we can learn to do overnight. To live like Him, we need to know Him more. As we spend time in the Word and pray for the Holy Spirit to fill us with power and wisdom, our faith will grow—and it will show in the way we live.

So, the question I ask myself is this: Am I serving my faith in a Pyrex dish that says, “Help yourself,” or is my life of faith an irresistible, sweet aroma served on a silver platter?

But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen. 2 Peter 3:18 NIV

This article is brought to you by the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association (AWSA).

About the author: Crystal Bowman is a bestselling, award-winning author of more than 100 books including, Our Daily Bread for Kids.She and her husband have three married children and seven huggable grandchildren.

When a child’s grandparent or great-grandparent is afflicted with dementia, it’s difficult to explain the disease in a way that helps the child understand why the person they love is not the same. I Love You to the Stars–When Grandma Forgets, Love Remembers, is a picture book inspired by a true story to help young children understand that even though Grandma is acting differently, she still loves them–to the stars!

Join the conversation: How has your faith grown in the past year? How has your life reflected that growth?

What’s a Soul Worth?

by Shadia Hrichi

When I visited the county fair each year as a young adult, my favorite exhibit was always the pen of baby “piggies.” Just thinking back on them makes me smile.

We live in a culture that is nearly obsessed with animals. Pampered pets are everywhere. There are zoos to visit, not to mention animal movies, videos, and TV shows. In my leisure time, one of my top choices for video entertainment is nature documentaries. I’ve watched countless of shows on every kind of creature. I will simply never tire of marveling at God’s astounding creation.

It may not be surprising that some people have cast doubt on Jesus’s compassion when he allowed 2,000 helpless pigs to plunge to their deaths. The story is found in the gospels of Matthew, Luke, and Mark. Jesus had just sailed across the Sea of Galilee into Gentile territory with His disciples when a naked, crazed, demon-possessed man meets Him at the shore. Speaking through the man, the demons “begged Him not to command them to depart into the abyss” (Luke 8:31 ESV).

When we consider the power of Satan and his demons, it is almost comical that when we finally get a good glimpse into their behavior, we find hissing, cowering beggars. Picture the scene: after the demons realize that Jesus had not come to execute their final judgment—after all, it was “before the time”(Matthew 8:29 ESV)—and, because Jesus is forcing them to abandon their human host, the demons immediately look around for a new victim, for another opportunity to inflict chaos and torment on God’s beloved creation.

There on the hillside, a huge herd of pigs is leisurely grazing on grass, plants, roots, insects, and anything else it can find. Spying the pigs, the demons squeal with delight as they present Jesus with their request: “Send us away into the herd of pigs” (Matthew 8:31 ESV).  If they could not destroy the man, perhaps they could find a way to entice the entire town to curse God! After all, pigs were a lucrative business for the region’s rampant pagan sacrifices.

Jesus responds with a single word: “Go!” (8:32 ESV). All at once, the demons charge into the pigs, throwing the herd into a panic. Squealing in terror, kicking dirt and grass into the air, the pigs stampede right off the edge of a cliff, plunging to their deaths in the water below.

Pause here for a moment. Imagine that you are the demon-possessed man’s parent, child, or sibling standing nearby. For years, you have witnessed him living among the tombs, howling into the night, and cutting himself with stones. He was so violent that even iron shackles could not hold him. When the demons beg Jesus for permission to enter the pigs, how would you react. What would you say to Jesus?

God takes delight in all His creation (Genesis 1:31). The problem, however, with focusing on the loss of the pigs is that we lose sight of what matters most. If the man were our father or brother or son, we would be the ones begging Jesus to rescue the man, no matter the cost. And when He does, we would be so overcome with joy and gratitude that we wouldn’t even give the pigs a second thought. How could we, when a human soul created in God’s own image was just delivered from unspeakable torment? The reality is that Jesus is exercising the deepest compassion by declaring one lost man more valuable than two thousand pigs.

Of how much more value is a man than a sheep! Matthew 12:12 ESV

This article is adapted from Week Four of LEGION: Rediscovering the God Who Rescues Me, a Bible study by Shadia Hrichi. Copyright © 2019 by Shadia Hrichi. Published by Leafwood Publishers.

This article is brought to you by the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association (AWSA).

About the author: Shadia Hrichi is a passionate Bible Teacher who loves seeing lives transformed by the power of God’s Word. In addition to numerous articles, Shadia is the author of various Bible studies, including her latest study, TAMAR: Rediscovering the God Who Redeems Me, as well as LEGION: Rediscovering the God Who Rescues Me, HAGAR: Rediscovering the God Who Sees Me, and Worthy of Love: A Journey of Hope and Healing After Abortion. Shadia holds an MA in Biblical and Theological Studies, as well as an MA in Criminal Justice. Currently residing in northern California, Shadia regularly speaks at churches and women’s events and loves to visit the ocean each week for ”a date with Jesus.” Visit www.shadiahrichi.com

Join the conversation: In what ways can we treat people as significant and valuable?

Eight Quarters and Lesson Learned

by Crystal Bowman

I was annoyed with the long exit line on the hospital parking ramp. Eager to get home after visiting a friend, I inched my way to the ticket booth where the attendant informed me of the eight-dollar fee. I handed him a ten-dollar bill, expecting two dollars in return. I did, in fact, get two dollars back—eight quarters.  

“Sorry, that’s all I’ve got,” he apologized. I groaned and rolled my eyes, even more annoyed than before. I planned on dropping the quarters into our coin jar but forgot about them when I got home. Several days went by and the quarters still jiggled in the bottom of my purse. 

Later that week I had a book signing at a local bookstore. This was during the early days of my writing career, and I was excited for the opportunity to promote the handful of children’s books I had published.

Many people think a book signing is a glamorous event for rich and famous authors, but nothing could be further from the truth! Most authors are neither rich nor famous, and book signings are a lesson in humility.

No one came to the store just to see me. I sold a few books to some shoppers who happened to be there, but that was about it. One woman asked me to watch her daughter while she went to the bathroom, and another customer asked me to help him find a book by another author.

As I began packing up my books to go home, a middle-aged woman with a contagious smile came to my table. “Are you a real author?” she asked as she picked up one of my short chapter books.

“Yes, I am,” I replied.

“Well,” she said, “I can’t read very well, but I know I can read this one.”

She fumbled through her purse for a few minutes and then her smile faded, “I don’t have enough money to buy your book,” she said. She put the book back on the table and started to walk away.

 “Wait,” I said. “How much more do you need?”

“Two dollars.”

At that moment I remembered the eight quarters in my purse that had never made it to the coin jar. “I might be able to help you out. I have a bunch of quarters that I don’t need, and you can have them.”

Her smile returned as I counted the quarters and dropped them in her hand.

“What’s your name,” I asked. “I’ll write a note in the book and sign it for you.” 

“My name is Gina.”

On the inside cover I wrote, “To my friend, Gina. I hope you enjoy reading this story. May God bless you.”

Too many times I let little things that don’t matter—like those eight quarters—annoy me. I’m reminded of the apostle Paul’s challenge to the Christians in Colosse, which challenges me as well. He taught them to live a new life in Christ and put to death the old life. He told them to put on compassion, kindness, humility, and patience as if they were clothing (Colossians 3:12).

Even though we cannot live perfect lives, we can ask God to help us live in a way that shows we belong to Him. Colossians 3:14 (NLT) says, “Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.”  

As far as book signings go, my time at the bookstore was not very productive. But I learned a lesson from those eight quarters, and I met a woman name Gina whose smile I will never forget.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Colossians 3:12 NLT

This article is brought to you by the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association (AWSA).

About the author: Crystal Bowman is a bestselling, award-winning author of more than 100 books including, Our Daily Bread for Kids.She and her husband have three married children and seven huggable grandchildren.

When a child’s grandparent or great-grandparent is afflicted with dementia, it’s difficult to explain the disease in a way that helps the child understand why the person they love is not the same. I Love You to the Stars–When Grandma Forgets, Love Remembers, is a picture book inspired by a true story to help young children understand that even though Grandma is acting differently, she still loves them–to the stars!

Join the conversation: What are the little things that you find annoying?

There’s a Story in Every Seat!

by Stacy Leicht

The statement, “There’s a story in every seat,” is something I say often in my university classes at UNC-Greensboro. My students have heard me say it so much, they roll their eyes as soon as they hear me start the phrase. However, I say it often because I want it to sink in. As soon to be teachers, it is critical that they understand that each child sitting in one of the seats in front of them comes with their very own story.

Each story has a beginning, middle and the future of that student; each one knows more about their family stability, the love or neglect they come home to, the food they have abundantly, or the food they wish for daily.

While some of these stories are easy to see physically on our students, many of their stories stay untold, until the student becomes trusting of their teacher. If you’re a teacher, you know what I mean. Trust does not come easily for children these days and rightly so. Children are told to be aware of strangers, don’t go anywhere with a stranger, don’t talk to strangers, and the boundaries that parents place on their children are drawn from the time they are born. This is done out of love and is smart for every parent to do for safety!

Teachers know that students do not learn from people they do not trust. This is especially true if they have come from a family with trauma, abuse, neglect, or poverty.

Therefore, I tell my students, it is imperative you put the work in with your students to not only teach them academics, but to learn about them as people. Learn their hobbies, what they like, what they dislike, what they do on the weekends, and converse with them daily about the things that matter to the students.

The same is true of adults. There is a story in every adult seat. Someone’s story may include an illness, a divorce, a deceased child, the loss of a job, or like me, an autoimmune disease that makes me feel tired a great deal of time. Yet on the outside, all we might see is someone that is cranky and upset with those around them.

We may only be able to see the outside, but God is not limited in His perception. He told Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature…for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7 NASB). We may not know everyone’s story, but God does. When we encounter someone who is difficult, we need to pray for God’s insight and compassion before we respond to them.

We may have more in common with that person than we think. Getting to know someone will help us to know their story and how to best encourage them. Taking the time to understand someone on a deeper level will enable us to love them as God does.

Remember, every time you look at an empty chair, someone will sit there with a story. Let’s try to love each one!

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart… Jeremiah 1:5 NLT

This article is brought to you by the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association (AWSA).

About the author: Born in Dearborn, Michigan, Stacy Leicht grew up loving animals, nature, and books. She worked as an elementary school teacher and literacy curriculum facilitator for fifteen years before becoming an adjunct professor and then a supervisor in the Education Department at the University of North Carolina–Greensboro. Stacy lives with her husband, Rick, and their rescue dog, Bella, in North Carolina. They have two grown children, and Stacy treasures time with her two grandchildren. She loves reading, baking, and snorkeling at the beach.

In Stacy’s first children’s book, Good One, God, it is Kelsey’s first time going fishing out in the Gulf of Mexico with Grandad and big brother Zach. When the beauty of a great blue heron prompts Grandad to say, “Good one, God,” Kelsey’s eager to find her own praise item too. But with each amazing miracle of nature, Zach beats her to the punch. Will Kelsey get her chance to thank God before it’s time to head home?

Join the conversation: Have you ever been surprised by someone when you actually got to know them?

WEPT

by Susie Crosby

verb: shed tears, cried silently

“Jesus wept.” John 11:35 ESV

This is the famous verse: the shortest one in the Bible. The one that connects us to Jesus through the extremely painful emotion of sadness.

This is the verse that reminds us of how very human Jesus was.

He felt heartbreak.

He knew deep loss.

He experienced the raw ache of grief.

He shed real tears.

This verse is a surprising sentence in middle of the miracle story of Jesus raising Lazarus to life after four days in the tomb. To see Jesus cry must have significantly affected (and possibly confused) the disciples, the crowd, and especially Mary and Martha as they were mourning their brother. I think if I had been there, I would have been a little shocked and probably scared.

Because a lot of people in my life (including me) don’t cry very often. If our eyes well up or our voices crack with emotion, something really, really tough must be going on. Hurt and disappointment happens just as often to people like us, but for many different reasons, our tears get stifled or suppressed.

But Jesus wasn’t holding back. He wasn’t going to act like this wasn’t as difficult as it was. Mary and Martha and the others who were weeping must have felt so cared for. Not only was this their wise, strong friend unashamedly letting his tears fall, but this was Jesus–the One they believed to be the Son of God–grieving with them.

Even though Jesus knew that, in a matter of minutes, he was going to raise their dead brother back to life, he didn’t rush ahead or dismiss their feelings. He paused for a moment to just be with them. The Master, the Teacher, the One everyone was talking about had stopped to share in their pain, and he had actually started to cry.

The night that my Mom was dying was dark and awful.

Even though we knew she was going to be relieved of her sickness,

even though she was going to be with Jesus,

even though we can look forward to spending eternity in Heaven with her, we were devastated.

And we were going to feel terribly sad for a long, long time.

Jesus didn’t rush us past the pain. Instead, he came closer to us that night in the agony of losing her. He felt our pain, too, as we said goodbye until Heaven. He tended our hearts as we started to navigate life without her over the course of the next few years. And he faithfully, compassionately sits with us when the tears still come.

Whether we cry easily or not, we can be encouraged to know that Jesus wept too. I might even dare to suggest that this wasn’t the only time he cried while he walked on the earth. Even though we wish sometimes that he would just rush us through to the “feel better” place, we can be strengthened and comforted by his constant presence and understanding love.

It is okay to sit and cry with Jesus. Yes, he can bring life from death, good from evil, beauty from ashes, and joy from mourning. But in the painful in-between, let him hold your grieving heart. He’s got tears in his eyes, too.

This article was brought to you by the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association (AWSA).

About the author: Susie is a grateful mom of two (almost) grown boys who currently live and go to school in Honolulu, Hawaii. She and her husband live in a seaside town in the Puget Sound region called Mukilteo. They love to hike and kayak, they are huge Seattle sports fans, and they mostly love hanging out at home with their little dog Koko. Susie teaches P.E., Art, Technology, and Music at an all-kindergarten school which keeps her busy full time. Her passion and joy is sharing encouraging words with the people she loves. She is an active blogger and speaker, and she is the author of Just One Word: 90 Devotions to Invite Jesus In. She is always on the lookout for fun coffee shops, inspiring books, remote beaches, and farmers’ markets. Connect with Susie at www.susiecrosby.com.

Join the conversation: How does knowing God grieves with you make a difference in how you view Him?

COMPASSION

by Susie Crosby

noun: sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it

 Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. Isaiah 30:18 NIV

 My friend posted a picture of her four-year-old daughter on the drive home from their vacation. Her eyes were wide with fear and her smile was gone. Her red, tear-stained cheeks caught my heart.

“Poor Annie,” the post read. “She is not a fan of driving over mountain passes.”

Neither am I, Annie. Neither am I.

I was just about to the top of a mountain pass when I experienced my first panic attack. I was driving my family and suddenly had to pull off the road–dizzy, sweating, and breathless. As my husband and I switched places, I collapsed into sobs and self-condemnation.

 What was wrong with me?

I had been a brave and confident driver for years. I enjoyed being behind the wheel and going on adventures with my family. So when this irrational fear overpowered me, so did self-criticism. I felt defeated, worthless, and weak.

But when I look at this photo of Annie suffering through this terrifying trip over the mountain pass, I notice something important. Nobody is mad at Annie in this photo. Why would they be? She wasn’t doing anything wrong. Whether her fear was justified or reasonable didn’t matter. She was scared, and she needed compassion. That’s all.

The compassion is evident in the photo and in the post written by Annie’s mom. As her little heart was in the grip of fear, it was clear that she was being completely cared for. Her little body was buckled securely into her car seat. Her dad appeared to be an alert and experienced driver.

And the best part? Her mom was reaching back, tightly and lovingly holding Annie’s tiny hand in hers–for almost an hour.

Caring, not criticizing. Loving, not judging.

When we feel afraid or ashamed, we can remember that God is the great giver of compassion. Not only does he buckle us in safely and take the wheel, but he will hold our hand as long as we need him to.

He longs to be gracious to us.

He rises up to show us compassion, even when we cannot show it to ourselves.

When fear and condemnation take over, we can remember these words of Jesus. He understands our weaknesses and our constant need for reassurance. Let’s put our hands in his and let him hold us through the mountain passes of life.  He is right there with us every step, every mile of the way.

This article was brought to you by the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association (AWSA).

About the author: Susie is a grateful mom of two (almost) grown boys who currently live and go to school in Honolulu, Hawaii. She and her husband live in a seaside town in the Puget Sound region called Mukilteo. They love to hike and kayak, they are huge Seattle sports fans, and they mostly love hanging out at home with their little dog Koko. Susie teaches P.E., Art, Technology, and Music at an all-kindergarten school which keeps her busy full time. Her passion and joy is sharing encouraging words with the people she loves. She is an active blogger and speaker, and she is the author of Just One Word: 90 Devotions to Invite Jesus In. She is always on the lookout for fun coffee shops, inspiring books, remote beaches, and farmers’ markets. Connect with Susie at www.susiecrosby.com.

Join the conversation: In what regard do you need God’s compassion?

Sitting with Sorrow

by A.C. Williams

When they saw Job from a distance, they scarcely recognized him. Wailing loudly, they tore their robes and threw dust into the air over their heads to show their grief. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words. Job 2:12-13 NLT

Why is it therapeutic to fix broken things? What is it that makes us feels better after we piece together fragments of something that used to be whole? I think part of it is being made in God’s image. He is the Master Fixer, after all.

So what happens when we encounter something that can’t be fixed? Where no act—physical, mental, or spiritual—can restore what has been lost? What do we do then?

I think often of Job’s friends, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar. We vilify them as examples of what not to do when someone you love is hurting, and rightly so. Job’s friends tried to fix the situation. They needed to understand, which meant they had to assign blame. And, frankly, I’m not sure assigning blame ever helps.

What we tend to forget, however, is that when they first arrived, they did it right (Job 2:12-13). They mourned with him. They grieved for his loss right alongside him, and they were silent. Because they could tell that his grief was too great for words, so they sat with him in his sorrow without speaking.

But after a week, they couldn’t be silent anymore.

Why do we think that a grief too great for words must endure only a short time? We think once the initial grieving period is done, it’s time to get down to business and figure out what went wrong. Whose fault is it? How do we fix it?

Friends, we don’t get to decide when someone else is done grieving. It’s not our responsibility to tell someone it’s time to move on.

Job’s friends eventually got tired of sitting with his sorrow and tried to fix his life for him. That’s where they went wrong (Job 42:7-9).

Sitting with sorrow isn’t fun. It’s not pleasant. And the longer it lasts, the more uncomfortable it gets. It’s frustrating. Heartbreaking. Exhausting in every sense of the word. We want to point fingers. We want to cheer people up. We want to do something.

And maybe there is something we can do, but it’s important to remember that sitting with sorrow isn’t about making ourselves feel better. Sitting with sorrow is the sacrifice we bring to support someone we love on their terms. Not ours.

Part of being in Jesus’ big family is bearing the burdens of our brothers and sisters (Galatians 6:2). We offer a shoulder to cry on, a hand to steady them when their world is upside down, or a prayer when they are so broken they can’t pray for themselves.

I’m not saying people don’t need to eat or that they don’t need clean clothes or a clean house. There’s absolutely a need for practical support in the face of overwhelming grief. But in our compassionate drive to bless others, don’t forget that grief is a process that looks different for everyone.

Be willing to help, yes, but be patient. Then be available to help on their terms when they ask. If we’re with them in their moments of deepest grief, understand that we are in a place of privilege and trust. When they’re ready, they’ll tell us what they need.

We can’t fix grief. We can’t fix mourning and sorrow and trauma. Those are things that will never be fixed in this world, but they can be redeemed. It’s just not us who can do it.

This article is brought to you by the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association (AWSA).

About the author: A.C. Williams is a coffee-drinking, sushi-eating, story-telling nerd who loves cats, country living, and all things Japanese. She’d rather be barefoot, and if isn’t, her socks won’t match. She has authored eight novels, two novellas, three devotional books, and more flash fiction than you can shake a stick at. A senior partner at the award-winning Uncommon Universes Press, she is passionate about stories and the authors who write them. Learn more about her book coaching and follow her adventures online at www.amycwilliams.com.

Join the conversation: How have you helped people who are grieving?

The Doors are Still Open

by Crystal Bowman

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.  Matthew 9:36 ESV

With only an eighth-grade education and some carpentry training in the U. S. Army, my dad became a successful contractor, building beautiful homes on Lake Michigan and remodeling almost every downtown storefront in our city. I enjoyed spending summers at our cottage on an inland lake in a small rural community. It was a way for our family to be on vacation while my dad was able to work in the area.

My dad had a burden for the lost, and when he discovered a poverty-stricken neighborhood only miles from our cottage, he could not ignore their spiritual needs. He saw them as sheep without a shepherd and had compassion for them. With support from our church, my dad built a small chapel at the entrance to the neighborhood. Every Sunday afternoon, instead of taking a much-needed rest, he canvassed the dirt roads on foot, inviting the families to come to the evening service where a pastor told the people about Jesus. Recognizing their physical needs as well, my dad provided food and clothing for those who came to worship. 

The ministry flourished for decades, and because of my dad’s vision, many people from this poor neighborhood have a mansion in heaven. When my dad became too old to continue this ministry, another local church took it over and continued offering services in the chapel.

Before Jesus went back to heaven after His resurrection, He told his disciples, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:19-20 ESV). This passage is also known as The Great Commission, and if we are followers of Jesus, then the message is for us.

Many people leave their homes, friends, and families to serve on foreign mission fields. They follow God’s calling to share the Gospel in other countries or continents. The sacrifices they make for the sake of the Gospel are something I cannot relate to. But even if God has not called me to leave my homeland, He still asks me to share the Gospel in my neighborhood, my community, and at the grocery store.

We are surrounded by people who need Jesus. There are many different ways to share the Gospel, and opportunities are all around us. We can invite others to church or Bible study (even virtually). We can volunteer at local food pantries or after-school programs for children. If we have physical limitations, we can partner financially with ministries to support those who are able to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

In 1 Peter 3:15 (ESV), the Apostle Peter shares these words, “But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.” In other words—be ready to share at any moment because we never know when someone is open to hearing about the hope, joy, and peace that come from having a believing faith in Jesus.

My dad has been with Jesus for 15 years, and there are others walking in heaven with him because he saw their needs. He built that little chapel 55 years ago, and I could never count the number of people who have come to know Jesus because of his compassion. The chapel is still standing and the doors are still open.   

This article is brought to you by the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association (AWSA).

About the author: Crystal Bowman is a bestselling, award-winning author of more than 100 books including, Our Daily Bread for Kids.She and her husband have three married children and seven huggable grandchildren.

When a child’s grandparent or great-grandparent is afflicted with dementia, it’s difficult to explain the disease in a way that helps the child understand why the person they love is not the same. I Love You to the Stars–When Grandma Forgets, Love Remembers, is a picture book inspired by a true story to help young children understand that even though Grandma is acting differently, she still loves them–to the stars!

Join the conversation: Who has inspired you?