Love Isn’t Spelled W-O-R-R-Y

by Kathy Collard Miller @KathyCMiller

I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Philippians 3:10 NIV

I can still remember as a child hearing my grandmother say to me, “Kathy, I was worried about you.” I have no clue or memory what she might have been worried about, but I remember her comment—because I knew she was trying to say, “I’m worried about you! I love you!”

But what she actually said didn’t make me feel loved nor did I feel helped. I wanted her to say, “I love you. I prayed for you, and I knew God was helping you.”

It’s easy to think worry communicates love, but it doesn’t. It actually breaks down relationships. But telling someone we are praying for them communicates love, builds the relationship, and strengthens the faith of those we care about.

Prayer is powerful; worry is powerless. Prayer builds the relationship; worry destroys the relationship. God never says, “I’m worried about you,” but He does say, “I love you, and I’m doing the best thing for you.” The Holy Spirit says, “I’m praying for you!” (Romans 8:27).

Although I’m far from conquering worry completely, I have greater victory, because I can look back and see how my worry caused me to over-react. Worry not surrendered to God motivates ungodly reactions.

We know the scenario. Our daughter is late getting home from a date. It’s past her curfew and worry begins to rear its ugly head as horrible thoughts of her being raped, or an automobile accident taking her life, or …a thousand other fears. We know those kinds of things actually happen, and we’re afraid it’s now going to happen to our family!

So when our daughter walks in the door late, because she and her date ran out of gas and their cell phone batteries died, what is our reaction?! Anger! “I’ve been so worried! How could you put me through this? What were you thinking? How could you do this to me?”

We aren’t communicating love with worry, because fear enters the heart of our child from our reaction. And often our words can be interpreted as it’s really all about us—our pain and worry, not our concern for our beloved child.

We can justify our worry by saying, “I love her. I don’t want anything bad to happen to her!” But worry didn’t keep her safe and worry has now made her afraid of us. We don’t have to do it! We can trust God.

We will be strengthened to trust God more when we realize there’s a difference between fear, concern, and worry.

Fear can be legitimate when it’s about actual dangerous things. (Just think of that bear running toward you. You should be scared and take action).

Concern is legitimate awareness of a potential danger and we can take it to God who cares for us and everything we are concerned about (I Peter 5:7 NIV tells us, “Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.”).

Worry is when we are no longer trusting God and believe we must take action without God’s direction.

Identifying which of the three you are experiencing can help you to take the right kind of action.

Remember my grandmother? Years later she said to me, “Kathy, I’ve been praying for you.” Not only did I feel loved, but I knew God’s effective power was taking place.

This article is brought to you by the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association (AWSA).

About the author: Kathy Collard Miller is the author of over 55 books, including Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries from which this devotion is adapted. Her books include devotionals, commentaries and women’s Bible studies. She loves to speak at events and has spoken in over 30 US states and 9 foreign countries. She lives in Idaho with her husband, Larry. They are parents and grandparents. Visit her: www.KathyCollardMiller.com.

Her latest book is co-written with her husband, Larry, titled God’s Intriguing Questions: 60 New Testament Devotions Revealing Jesus’s Nature. This post is an excerpt from that book. Visit her at https://linktr.ee/kathycollardmiller.

Join the conversation: What do you do when worry overtakes you?

10 thoughts on “Love Isn’t Spelled W-O-R-R-Y

    1. You are right. Now we are learning to pass it along to a new generation. How fun is that? Thanks for commenting!

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    1. Thank you so much, BG, for your encouragement. It means a lot. You’ve hit it right on the nail: without consulting the Holy Spirit, we will operate in the flesh of worry. Thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Sheri, I love you using the word “demo.” I’m so glad my point did come across as a demonstration. May we always be hungry for ways to seek God’s strengthening.

      Like

  1. This is excellent, Kathy! I tried to share on Facebook, but have been temporarily blocked because I tried to share an article from Focus on the Family earlier. I’ll try again.

    Like

    1. Thank you so very much for your encouraging words, Deb. I so respect your work so your thoughts mean a lot. And I appreciate you trying to share it on Facebook. I hope it goes through eventually.

      Like

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