Not My Nature

by Terri Gillespie

Blessed is the one who trusts in Adonai [the LORD], whose confidence is in Adonai. Jeremiah 17:7 TLV

There are those folks who are so confident in the LORD that no matter what happens, they know they will be alright. I have met a few of these souls and I’m both awed and convicted by their testimonies.

Why? Because I am not one of those blessed souls. At least, not by nature. When I’m caught off-guard by a trial or tribulation or testing, my nature is to fear. That default reaction of fear is caused from experiences in my past—scary things that happened to me and others.

If a problem arises, my nature is to seek ways to solve it myself rather than go to the LORD first. That first inclination stems from being so long accustomed to fending for myself.

When God asks me to do something, my nature is to either say that I can’t, or sadly, that I won’t. Or I attempt the request on my own without His guidance. That is my nature.

But that is not the truth of who I am as a child of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. And it is not where I am confined to remain.

“Now what do you think? “A man had two sons, and he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go work in the vineyard today.’

The son answered, ‘I won’t,’ but afterward he had a change of heart and went.

The man went to the second son and said the same thing. But he answered, ‘I will, sir,’ And didn’t go.

Which of the two did the will of the father?”

“The first,” they [the ruling priests and elders] said.

Matthew 21:28-31 TLV

In this parable, Jesus recognizes our nature. Especially those of us with a past—sinful and broken. The first son’s response when asked to work in the vineyard, was, “No way.” But then later, he rethinks that default response and does what his father asks of him.

So, I have a choice. I can follow my nature, or I can stop, turn around and follow the truth. The truth that The Creator of the Universe, who went out of His way to make me His child by sacrificing His Son, loves me.

And when He asks me to trust Him that no matter what comes my way, I am still loved. That means, I must still act like His kid—not some wild person who follows their fears and emotions.

It’s a no brainer, right? Yet still I struggle.

That’s why I read and meditate and post passages of faith and truth that remind me each day, to be confident in this mighty, loving God who knows me. So that I can discern the difference between my nature’s lie and His truth. I know that even a mustard seed of faith and trust can move that mountain of fear or anger or anything that seeks to separate me from His love through Messiah Yeshua.

If my journey helps others, then I am doubly blessed.

Heavenly Father, May nature may say, “no,” but my nature lies. I chose to follow Your truth. Even if it takes me a while to get there. In Jesus’ Name, amen.

This article is brought to you by the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association (AWSA).

About the author: Award-winning author and beloved speaker Terri Gillespie writes stories of faith and redemption to nurture souls. Her novels, devotionals, and blogs have drawn readers to hunger for a deeper relationship with their Heavenly Father, and His Son Jesus. Her newest novel, Sweet Rivalry, releases later this year. 

Join the conversation: What’s your nature?


7 thoughts on “Not My Nature

  1. My nature is to fear, to hide, to decide I don’t belong. Hiding feels safer and I guess, feels humble. I am learning to allow God’s positioning of me for His purpose, not my validation or success. It’s difficult as an artist and introvert with opportunities to be bold in my sharing, but still defeated emotionally from past trauma and abandonment. I love this concise truth, doing what’s not my nature, being confident of God’s nature in me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, yes. I know those moments, too. As an introvert with past traumas, my default has always been that sense of betrayal. It seems counterintuitive to put ourselves out there, doesn’t it? But, our Daddy knows and loves to challenge us once in awhile. Keeps us on our toes. Great insights, Lisa Anne. I have no doubt you are a force to be reckoned with. Anyone who has been through the fire, is like that. God bless you. Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a beautiful but sometimes a hard reminder of His faithfulness in our struggles and hardships. You’re absolutely right when you ask, ” it’s a no brainer, right?” To follow or not to follow even when it hurts knowing it’ll be the “right” and pleasing thing to do. Ohh the lessons of a heart when revealed in His timing we come to see and understand of how deep and wide His love is, truly grateful for His unconditional love. Love, “It’s Not My Nature!”

    Liked by 1 person

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