by Erica Wiggenhorn @EricaWiggenhorn
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:5 NIV
The hospital was only eight miles away, but the drive felt endless. The pediatrician’s voice replayed through my head like a taunting nightmare, “Go! Right now! Don’t wait! I’ve called the ER and told them you are on your way!” Our six-week miracle daughter had vomited up her last four meals. Her diapers were dry, and she had begun to grow listless. As we drove, I could see her brown eyes pleading with me in the reflection in the little purple princess mirror that hung from her car seat. Too weak to cry, her eyes pierced through my mama heart knowing she writhed in pain.
I parked the car, and with trembling fingers struggled to unlock her car seat. Finally clutching her tightly to my chest, I ran into the emergency room. I gasped her name to the nurse behind the window, and she immediately buzzed us back. They took Eliana from my arms and carried her out of my sight behind locked doors. My legs gave way and I fell to the floor of hospital hallway, sobbing.
LORD, we waited ten years for our daughter! At this time will You take her from me after just six weeks?
Maybe you’ve asked God that same question, “LORD, at this time will You_______________?” then feared His answer. Or feared not getting an answer. Felt your legs give way and the sobs erupt. Part of life on this planet includes wrestling with questions to which we don’t get the answers we hope, or finding there simply are none to be found.
The early disciples searched for answers. “LORD, at this time will you restore the kingdom to Israel?” (Acts 1:6 ESV). Would the promised kingdom finally be established now, the one for which they had been eagerly awaiting for three long years?
It had been a roller coaster ride in recent weeks: so much to take in. After Jesus’ death, resurrection, and appearances, there was only uncertainty as they looked ahead. What would happen next? Was it finally time for all of the good and rewards they had been promised?
The problem was, their limited definition of what constituted good was not on track with God’s.
My definition of good on that hospital floor meant holding a healthy baby girl once again.
Look at how Jesus answered his disciples: “It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you…” (Acts 1:7-8 ESV).
The disciples were looking for specific circumstances to come to pass. But God had something so much greater for them, so far beyond any specific circumstance. He was promising not so much a present circumstance; but a Presence in all circumstances. They would receive the Holy Spirit. He would provide the power to prevail in every season of unanswered questions.
Right now, much like the disciples, we are living in a season of unanswered questions.
How long will we practice social distancing? Will I lose my job? Will someone I love get sick?
Will life go back to the way we knew it before? Will my future plans for my life still be possible? Will I make it through whatever loss lies ahead?
Jesus offers us the same answer He gave His disciples, “The Father has fixed His plan. He promised power to carry you through. You will be a witness of the power of His presence in your life.”
As the clock on the hospital wall ticked above us, each second feeling like an eternity, I sensed the LORD’s presence draw near. Eventually the nurse reappeared. Eliana needed surgery for pyloric stenosis. The valve between her esophagus and stomach was too small. They would need to surgically enlarge it so she could digest food properly, but after some time, she would regain her strength.
As you and I wait for answers to unfold in all this uncertainty, let’s embrace the power of the Holy Spirit to prevail, rejoicing in His Presence in all of our circumstances.
About the author: Erica Wiggenhorn is an award winning Bible study author of Unexplainable Jesus and An Unexplainable Life by Moody Publishers. She longs to see people’s lives transformed through the power of the Word of God. You can find out more about Erica her ministry at ericawiggenhorn.com
Step into the streets of Jerusalem and encounter the Jewish Rabbi who turned the world upside down. After rediscovering Jesus from the pages of the book of Luke—or maybe discovering Him for the very first time—you’ll see there is no other plan, goal, ambition, or Person worth following but Jesus.
Join the conversation: What question do you hold in your heart today?