You Are Not Going to Like It

By Pam Farrel @PamFarrel

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.                                                                                                                                                1 Peter 4:8 NIV

I am an enthusiastic entrepreneur at heart. I take great joy in creating something from nothing and provide quality resources for others while simultaneously providing for my family.

When Bill was new in his senior pastor position at the age of 28, I was a mom at home completing my education. Tuition was stressing our already tight budget, so I attended a seminar on starting a business. The presenter was very persuasive. I bought the magic beans.

But on the way home, I began to feel convicted by the Holy Spirit. I had spent more than I should have; over a certain amount, we had agreed to decide as a team if this was how WE wanted to spend OUR money. I had violated that trust. I prayed for forgiveness and wisdom on the best way to tell my husband.

I walked in, and took Bill’s hand, looked him in the eyes, and with emotion said, “I have something to tell you, and you are not going to like it, but please tell me “I love you and we will get through this together.” As I confessed to my transgression to him, I could see Bill’s anger rising, but to his credit, through gritted teeth he said, “Pam, I love you, I forgive you, and we will get through this together.”

The mercy Bill gave me that day lodged deep in my heart, and my love for him grew even stronger.

Years later, my father passed away and left me an inheritance. Bill was offered “an incredible investment opportunity” by someone, and Bill talked me into investing my money toward our future needs.

Today people are more skeptical of investment advisers after so many financial fraud cases in recent memory. But our investment decision was before all that had happened.

One day, our adviser took our money and ran. Bill was horrified to learn it all was gone. But his biggest regret was talking me into investing it in the first place. My treasured inheritance from my father! He prayed about how to break the news.

Bill came home, took my hand, and with sorrow in his eyes, said, “Pam, I have something to tell you, and you are not going to like it, but I need you to tell me “I love you and we will get through this together”.  As I listened to his news, I remembered Bill’s grace and mercy for me those many years before. In spite of our loss, my heart pushed out the words, “Bill, I love you, I forgive you, and we will get through this together.”

Jesus told a parable about a slave who had a large debt graciously forgiven (Matthew 18:21-35). Soon after, he confronted a fellow slave who owed him significantly less than what his own debt had been. The slave was unable to pay, and the angry man had him thrown into prison. The slave’s owner, who had forgiven him, was furious when he heard. “I forgave you all [your] debt…Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way I had mercy on you?” (Matthew 18:32-33 NASB)

Jesus’ point: to refuse to forgive is an affront to the grace and mercy our Heavenly Father has given to us. What we have been forgiven should compel us to treat each other with the kind of generous mercy we enjoy from God.

After both of our bad financial decisions, we chose honesty and forgiveness over anger and strife. And because of that, we became stronger as a team. Grace, mercy and forgiveness create an environment where love can accumulate interest just like money in an investment account. In such a positive environment, a relationship can flourish emotionally and spiritually (and perhaps even financially), because you will be functioning as a team, learning to accept each other’s mistakes and moving on from them together.

Lord, we thank you for the grace and mercy you have given us. Help us in turn to give grace and mercy to cover each other’s imperfections. Amen.

You Are Not Going to Like It: the Power of Forgiveness – @PamFarrel on @AriseDailyDevo (Click to Tweet)

pam ferrelAbout the author: Pam and Bill Farrel are international speakers, authors of 46 books including A Couple’s Journey with God devotional and bestselling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti. Together they run Love-Wise helping people with their most vital relationships. When they are not traveling for speaking, you will find them at home on their live-aboard boat docked in Southern California.

Join the conversation: How has offering forgiveness made a difference in your relationship? Please share!

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